Abuse is defined as the systematic pattern of behaviours in a relationship that are used to gain and/or maintain power and control over another.
It could be Domestic Violence – a partner controlling you through fear of physical abuse, mental, emotional or financial abuse. In all abuse the victim finds it difficult to leave or escape from the relationship. Victims do not fully understand the dynamics that keep these relationships together. Counselling can help you change the way things are. It could be sexual abuse of a child.
It is not OK to be experiencing any of these things:
Physical abuse such as choking, hitting, punching, kicking, biting
Emotional abuse such as shouting, swearing, criticising to the point of loss of self-esteem, blaming
Psychological abuse such as threatening you by shouting and/or holding you so you cannot move away, sabotaging, breaking things, punching objects (like the wall), hiding your personal items away to ensure life is difficult for you
Sexual abuse which is any sexual behavoiur or act that does not have your consent
Financial abuse such as with-holding money from you, not sharing bank details or sharing knowledge of joint finances, using your money without your consent, running up debt in your name
Very often these categories overlap, but emotional abuse focuses on damaging your feelings whereas psychological abuse changes and damages your ability to function in the world, and sexual abuse plays on both your feelings and your ability to function in the world.
If you would like to have counselling to change relationship dynamics, or leave an abusive relationship, please email me direct.